When I think back to when I was in high school or even four years ago when I began college I had my life mapped out. I knew what I wanted to do in life and I was living carefree in terms of sun safety. My life at that point consisted of thinking a tan was okay and beautiful. Boy was I wrong! That tan can kill you! So many things have changed that map for me and without my input. God knew my life was going to change completely after my first year of college and continue to.
Yesterday marked the six month passing of my uncle. I can say the pain has lessened somewhat or I have numbed myself, but the void is still there. The truth is he is no longer here because cancer took him. The quote above fits my previous vision perfectly, of him and my grandmother (who has dementia) attending my wedding (the some day, not yet planned or even propsed to wedding). The realization neither he nor she will be there breaks my heart and makes me cry every time. I have had to let go and realize they will be there with me in spirit.
The last two weeks I have really reflected on my journey with cancer, especially with beginning my last year of my undergraduate degree. The reality has hit me that I may not have made it this far all because I wanted a tan. I see postings on facebook about other young women my age who have had it much worse than I have, like Jillian. You can read her mother's blog about her harrowing journey battling stage IV melanoma. As I was packing my car to come home for the weekend I began to think about Jillian. Instead of going to college she is thinking about treatment options and then I think, that could have been me. I am forever thankful that my cancer was caught early, but I also know I am never out of the woods. Even though the cancer was caught early, my lifestyle changed. Tanning was no more and I had to become extrememly diligent about sun safety. I have had to accept letting the life I thought I was going to have go and embrace the one God is giving me. This is why I think it is sooo important to educate young women about sun safety. I wish I would have listened because I may not have had to experience what I have.
