Wishing for a little more courage

Normally I like to workout at the gym early in the morning, before the birds are even up. Today I decided to go in the afternoon and I am reminded why I give up a little sleep for a peaceful workout. As I am stretching there are three young, probably freshman, girls sitting next to me. They begin talking about how one of them is so tan and the other two need to hit the tanning bed over winter break. Here I am cringing inside, wanting to scream at them, and thinking I need to say something. I really should say something, but what am I going to say? All the while there is this fear inside me. Needless to say, I was a coward and I didn't do it. I know I should have. I wish I would have. This was a perfect opportunity to share awareness. How is it that I can speak to hundreds of people about my story, but I can't walk up to three girls, share my story and my scar?

Prayers and Love are NEEDED!

Melanoma is a beast, one that nobody asks to enter their life, but it enters any way. I like to read blogs about others who are going through this journey called melanoma.Why? I am interested in their stories and hoping to make friendships with these people because they know what I am going through. I recently joined a facebook group made up of many wonderful, caring, supportive individuals and their families. Each one having their own story, but all aiming for one goal, to some day kick melanoma's a**. Why do I tell you all of this? I tell you because there are two messages that need to be heard. The first one is that melanoma has very unwelcomingly entered the lives of the Hayes family. Susan writes a blog about her 23 year old daughter's journey with melanoma. Susan's blog is one I have been reading and a friend I have made through facebook. This family needs all the prayers, love, positive vibes, and anything you can give them right now because melanoma is winning. It pains me to write this, but I know this message needs to be heard. Which leads to the second point. Jillian's story NEEDS to be heard. The young women and men of our society need to understand that skin cancer isn't always able to to be cut away. You may not think it is going to happen to you, but it can and does. I can't speak for Jillian, but my guess is she never thought this was going to happen to her. Please think of this young girl before you enter that cancer coffin or lay in the sun with baby oil smothering your body. No one wants to go on this journey, so reduce your chances of ever having to.

I encourage (really demand) that you read Susan's honest and emotional words that she has posted about Jillian's latest part of her journey. I hope it knocks the cold, hard reality of what melanoma can do to you. Loosing some one you love is one the absolute hardest things life can send your way. Yet, some how Susan is able to put this into words, to continue sharing Jillian's story because she knows how vital it is in the fight against melanoma. Be prepared with tissues because these words will bring you to tears. Check out the post here on Jillian's Journey with Melanoma- A Mother's Story.

Lately

Now that I have finally handed in my portfolio and only have one last paper to write before the end of the semester, I hope to have time to write on here more often. This week I have been feeling a little funky. The semester is winding down and reality is starting to hit that I will be pushed into the real world in six short months. Can anyone say AAAAHHH?! Next semester I will be student teaching and I will not be going to campus very often, which has left me feeling a little sad this week. Where have the last four years gone? I remember the excitement of heading off to college, getting there and being homesick, and scared out of my mind. These last four years have been a whirlwind and they say high school goes by quickly. As much as I didn't feel stress from this portfolio (it determines if I am accepted into student teaching), I have been stressed. On top of that yesterday marks the nine month anniversary of my uncle's passing. As hard as those first few months were, the last few weeks have been really hard again. Knowing he will not physically be present during the holidays this year is saddening. As much as I love this time of year and I do LOVE it (I was listening to Christmas music the day after Halloween and I like my house to look like Santa threw up), this year there is sadness in the air and I am feeling a little bah humbug. Along with that sadness one of my fellow melanoma warriors is in the fight for her life. Her mama bear writes the blog, Jillian's Journey with Melanoma. This beautiful young woman is battling stage 4 melanoma and has recently been told it will take a miracle for her to survive. I think about her and her family often, praying God is with them during this time. So I ask you my blog readers, send a little prayer for their family to make it through this difficult time. Also take a moment to sign Jillian's tan ban and help her reach her goal of 1,000! She is at 966 right now. Help her make that push to her goal!

Happy Thanksgiving

As we begin the week of Thanksgiving I am reminded that I have so much to be thankful for. I have a great family and boyfriend, friends, a roof over my head, heat, food, clothes, the opportunity to get a higher education, and the pure, simple fact that I am here to celebrate it. As I feel every holiday reminds us of that, the in between is what gets us. The hussle and bussle of every day life, the little things that go wrong, etc. I love this time of year, which is evident by the fact I have been listening to Christmas music since the week of Halloween, but it also reminds me that I lost a loved one, who was dear to my heart a mere seven months ago and that no matter what he will not be here in the flesh to celebrate another Thanksgiving or Christmas with me. If feels like just yesterday I was spending Christmas with him last year and at the same time, like it was a million years ago. I was reflecting on this during my drive from school to home last week and I felt the sadness creep back into my heart. So often we take everything in life for granted. This bog is about my journey with melanoma, but in a broader light, my journey with cancer. His absence this holiday season reminds me that cancer is a beast and will take anyone. My hope is that you hold your loved ones closer this holiday season because we never know what the future holds. Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the Black Friday deals, I know I will be! :)

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my best friend, the one who always has my back, the one who makes me laugh no matter what, the one who drives me nuts at times, but most importantly the love of my life that God gave me! I hope you have a fabulous birthday Nick! I love you more than you will ever know! <3

Unite and Conquer!

Pinterest

My momma always told me, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." I guess some people were never told that as a kid, sadly.  Lately, Chelsea Price, blogger at Adventures with My Enemy Melanoma, has gained a few haters for sharing her views and trying to be an advocate. This is not cool and my momma would have told you to be quiet. It takes a great amount of courage, hope, and faith to share your opinions, life, thoughts, fears, etc. for the entire world to see.

"I can't tell you how difficult it has been to write about my melanoma diagnosis on a public blog. To admit to the world that I've had severe self-confidence issues as a teenager and young adult. My family can read this, my friends can read this, some girl I went to elementary school but I haven't talked to in 12 years can read this, my boss can read this, and the list goes on and on. Not to imply that I regret blogging. I've made wonderful friends, experienced catharsis in sharing what I've held inside for too long, and motivated a few strangers to take better care of their skin."-Katie Wilkes, blogger of Pretty in Pale

Katie writes it perfectly. We share our story, risk being criticized, and hope that others will hear us and take our words to heart, because we don't want you to be US. So please stop the negativity, it will get us no where. Cancer feeds off of negativity so why would you bring that into melanoma survivor's lives after they have had to hear the words no one wants to hear. Instead, let us unite, with positivity, and scare the living daylights out of cancer. Support each other and spread awareness, doing something good instead of something negative!

What can I say?!

I feel so bad for not writing in such a llllloooonnng time. I AM SORRY! School has been super, super busy because I am placed in a school with some pretty awesome kiddos :) This means exhausted nights and early sunrise mornings. One important piece of news is after my speech at the high school last week Monday I received a letter from one of the students. This is what she wrote:
      
       Dear Sam,
               I wanted to thank you again for coming in and speaking to our class about your experience with melanoma. What you said really hit home to me. The past two years I have burnt in the sun horribly. I also went tanning before a cruise..... This was before I knew about melanoma, and how dangerous and deadly it is. Now that I know and that I know how much I have increased my risk....I'm terrified. But I am so grateful. Hearing what you went through was a huge eye opener for me, and I can't thank you enough. I started checking my skin and I plan to wear sunblock every day I am outside. I don't mean to sound rude, so please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want to be like you. I don't want to go through the horror and pain it causes... I don't want to die. I do however, want to learn from you and I have. I wish you the best Sam and good luck! You are an inspiration to us all :)

First of all, thank you to the moon and back sweet girl. I love her complete honesty and pure emotion in the letter. On top of that is was hand written! She amazes me and reminds me whole heartedly why I speak out. I do not want her or anyone else to have to face the challenges this beast brings; the worst of them all saying good bye to your loved one. Thank you for listening to the message!

Spreading the word!

This past Monday I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to the science classes at my local high school. The reason I asked to come/was invited, to speak by the human anatomy teacher was because they began the unit on the layers of the skin. I am so thankful for this opportunity and hope someone heard my message. Speaking engagements and advocating is so important especially since the passing of the beloved, beautiful, and inspiring Hillary Quinn Kind passed away the night before from melanoma at the age of 25, two days before her 26th birthday. She and many, many others are the reason we speak. So please check out the videos!

First part of the video.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Proud to be a daughter

Just want to give a shout out to my brave momma who spoke about her experience with my melanoma diagnosis at our local high school. I am ssssssooooo very proud of you that you were able to share your thoughts and feelings openly. To Mr. Morford's class I will see you Monday! :) Bring your questions because I will be prepared with answers (at least I hope!) Excited to be talking with all of you. There has definitely been some hype! :)

Catching Up :)

I know, I know, I know, I haven't blogged in a REALLY long time. Sorry! Life has been just short of crazy around here lately! There are a couple of things I want to blog about tonight. First of all a huge shout out to Chelsea Price of Adventures With My Enemy Melanoma who spoke at The Skin Cancer Foundation Gala tonight. She helped raise awareness about this horrible beast who affects far too many people while getting to mingle with some celebs. She looked absolutely stunning! :)
 
Source

The second thing is I just started reading Pale Girl Speaks: A Year Uncovered by Hillary Fogelson. I am already connecting to the book and I am not even 20 pages in. Hillary says, "I told her everything a child never wants to have to tell a parent." She is refering to telling her she had cancer. I fet the exact same way when I had to tell my mom. It is heartbreaking. On a brighter note, I can't wait to delve deeper into the book.  Check out PaleGirl's website!

Source

My third and final thing I want to mention is the wedding I was so lucky to be able to attend and be a part of this past weekend. My boyfriend's brother just got married! Congratulations once again! Two reasons this makes it in the blog, 1) The bride looked gorgeous 2) This was the first big event I have attended since melanoma came into my life. Normally I would have tried to get bronze during the summer and then continue working on my tan at the tanning salon. Obviously that didn't happen this time, but more importanly I felt beautiful sporting my porcelain pale natural skin tone. When my mom and I were dress shopping this dress was the only one I told her I didn't feel like a pale ghost in. I think I am finally starting to embrace the real me :)

Happy Anniversary!!

Happy Anniversary to my mom and stepdad! I hope you enjoy many more years full of love together! Enjoy today! Love you both so much!

Source

To my momma

 

Happy Birthday to my momma! You are the best mother and friend a girl could wish for! Even though we may not always agree :) you are always there for me and always will be. I love you with all my heart and know that because of you I am here today. If you would not have insisted I have a skin check, we both know my life could have been very different. For that I will always be grateful. I hope you have a fabulous day even though I can't be there with you to celebrate.
Love,
Sam

Now blow out your candles!

Source

Birthday Week!

Source 

Ahh! It's Birthday Week! I can't believe my birthday is here already! I feel like I have been excited for this for sooooo long and it is almost here. I had a little pre-birthday celebration with my family and my love this weekend. I am going to apologize right away for the lack of posting this week. Monday is all day class, Tuesday is my actual birthday, Wednesday's reason is I get to see Carrie Underwood in concert, and Thursday is celebrating my birthday with my friends. Yes I know this may seem extreme because it is just another day to some people, but to me it is not. My family has always made a big deal of birthdays, plus my mom's birthday is the day before mine. It is a big week in our house. Once you hear the words "You have cancer" you never know if you are going to celebrate another birthday, which is another reason they should be a HUGE deal. Every milestone is an accomplishment and should be celebrated. Three years ago made me realize no matter what the age, birthdays should be celebrated because you at least got to be here for it. Today I am thanking God for the wonderful people he has put in my life, the opportunities he has given me, my faith, and the pure fact that I am able to be here to enjoy it. :)

Say a little prayer

Yes, I do know those are some lyrics from the movie, My Best Friends Wedding. But more importantly the message holds true. Say a little prayer, today, tomorrow, and always for those around you who are in need of a little help from God. I have joined a new group on facebook so I am able to get into contact with other melanoma warriors. As much as I love this group because they all understand what I have been through and go through, I see and read how deadly melanoma can be. She really is a beast! So I ask you, my blog readers, to please say a little prayer for all those who are battling cancer and kicking it's a**. This post was inspired by all the melanoma warriors I have been reading about who are going through chemo, radiation, and any other treatments and for Robin Roberts from GMA.

Source

Maybe we can change minds?

Source 

I recently came across an article by CBS New York, saying the Tan Mom is helping raise money for skin cancer. At first I could not believe my eyes, but in a round about way she is. The Tan Mom, Patricia, is working with Dana Ramos in YouTube videos to promote Ramos' book The Skin Regime: Boot Camp for Beautiful Skin. My only hope is that she can stop tanning and damaging her skin so she does not continue to age, because believe it or not she is only 44 years old.
*If you would like to read the full article and watch two of the videos, click on CBS New York above.

A hottie spotted!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who can resist a hottie, especially one who is helping raise awareness about melanoma?! Definitely not this girl. I have loved Ryan Reynolds for a long time and think he is hilarious, but I now love him for a different reason. He is helping spread awareness about the lurking beast; a message EVERYONE should hear. Take  minutes of your time, to drool at this hottie, but more importantly to hear the all important message about saving your own life by NOT tanning. Embrace the beautiful you! :) Remember, the sun is hot, but melanoma is NOT.
Click on the cutie to watch the video!

 

Live and let go

When I think back to when I was in high school or even four years ago when I began college I had my life mapped out. I knew what I wanted to do in life and I was living carefree in terms of sun safety. My life at that point consisted of thinking a tan was okay and beautiful. Boy was I wrong! That tan can kill you! So many things have changed that map for me and without my input. God knew my life was going to change completely after my first year of college and continue to.

Yesterday marked the six month passing of my uncle. I can say the pain has lessened somewhat or I have numbed myself, but the void is still there. The truth is he is no longer here because cancer took him. The quote above fits my previous vision perfectly, of him and my grandmother (who has dementia) attending my wedding (the some day, not yet planned or even propsed to wedding). The realization neither he nor she will be there breaks my heart and makes me cry every time. I have had to let go and realize they will be there with me in spirit.

The last two weeks I have really reflected on my journey with cancer, especially with beginning my last year of my undergraduate degree. The reality has hit me that I may not have made it this far all because I wanted a tan. I see postings on facebook about other young women my age who have had it much worse than I have, like Jillian. You can read her mother's blog about her harrowing journey battling stage IV melanoma. As I was packing my car to come home for the weekend I began to think about Jillian. Instead of going to college she is thinking about treatment options and then I think, that could have been me. I am forever thankful that my cancer was caught early, but I also know I am never out of the woods. Even though the cancer was caught early, my lifestyle changed. Tanning was no more and I had to become extrememly diligent about sun safety. I have had to accept letting the life I thought I was going to have go and embrace the one God is giving me. This is why I think it is sooo important to educate young women about sun safety. I wish I would have listened because I may not have had to experience what I have.

Fall

Source

Fall is absolutely one of my FAVORITE times of the year. Even though I dread studying, school starts, it means September is here, which brings cooler temps, changing leaves, cozy clothes likes jeans and cardigans, hot chocolate and coffee, fall colors, pumpkins, my birthday, my mom's birthday, my mom and stepdad's anniversary, and the list goes on.  This year it means the sweltering days of summer are finally over! Today is the first day it will actually stay in the 60's and I am ecstatic. I may need to go and buy a fall smelling candle for my room and some apple cider this next weekend because today has me completely in fall mode. When I did a google search to find a picture for the blog I found too many that I fell in love with. Here are only a few or I would be listing the entire search results :) Enjoy a fall like day! Be thankful that you are here and able to enjoy it because so many are not.


Source


Source

 

Being thankful!

Source

As I walked around campus this afternoon I saw all the freshman by the dorms and the union making me a little nostalgic. I realized this was my last first day for a fall semester (at least until I get my Master's :) This makes me both a little sad and excited. I am in place I never thought I would get because it seemed like so many classes were ahead of me. Then I realized I maybe never would have had my dream and goal of attending and graduating college become a reality. Melanoma could have stole that from right under my feet. So as I dread having to study or get my projects done I have to remember and be so thankful for the gift I have been given. I may not have been able to graduate college if melanoma had taken my life. Hope everyone had a great first day of school!

Labor Day Weekend

Google

As summer comes to a close this weekend, remember to be sun savvy. While enjoying the last few moments before school starts and work begins again sun safety is still an issue. Enjoy your Labor Day weekend without sun damage by following SLIP! SLOP! SLAP! WRAP!

Google

Coffins

Pinterest

This picture showed up on my personal facebook newsfeed and I felt the need to share. I quite often refer to tanning beds as cancer coffins, but this picutre just makes it true.

Creepy!

I read an article today that was on MSN.com's home page about a tanning salon owner trying to spy on girls who are tanning at his salon. Click on the link if you would like to read the article yourself. This makes me wonder how often does this happen? When I used to go to tanning salons I never thought of this, but it may be a problem that is not talked about. My opinion is that people should not frequent the tanning salon at all, but as a client is important for your own safety to be aware of your surroundings.

Get something for FREE!!!!

Listen to Your Skin is giving away free suncare kits! How awesome is this! If you click on the link it will take you to the webpage. One the left side will be the tab where you can enter your information for the suncare kit. Enjoy the free products while being sun savy!

Bacon?

I like my bacon, but I definitely do not want to be bacon!! Remember to wear your sunscreen or you will be the bacon!

A Little Reminder

I was browsing Pinterest this afternoon and came across this pin. I thought it was a quick reminder as the dog days of summer are quickly coming to a close of how to protect yourself along with some statistics.

Pinterest

My 3rd Cancerversay Celebration :)

I know my 3rd Cancerversay was several weeks ago, but these weeks have been crazy buzy. I have been spending my time between family, friends, and my boyfriend before the last days of summer are oer and the books are calling my name. Plus I have been packing my old apartment and getting ready to move and work. I know not real excuses, but still. B and I were able to get through the whole third season of Pretty Little Liars, even though our marathon went into the next day. Mom even brought me a cake home to celebrate and B bought me a ring on her recent trip to Michigan. Thanks to my family for making this a special day <3

To the zoo we go!

As we all know I love being frugal and enjoying time outside while being sun savy ;) Well Wednesday night was just that! B and I headed to the local zoo which was offering half price admission Wednesday nights throughout all of summer from 6pm until 8pm. We were able to enjoy gazing at all of the animals without having to worry about the sun! We had a blast and I thank the zoo for helping us truly enjoy our adventure! Here are a few of our pictures:

Google searching

As I did a Google search on myself tonight because I was really curious to see what I would find. I did find that other news reporting companies have used my story from the two  previous articles I was interviewed for. I thought that was pretty awesome! Here is the link to see the blog post that was written about me from Stand Up to Cancer. I thought this was pretty cool, especially since Stand Up to Cancer is a huge event.

Where I have been and where I am going

As I am scrolling through my facebook newsfeed tonight this pops up from my friend's pinterest pin. It caught my attention because far too often I get consumed with where my life should be, what I should be doing, or what is wrong in my life instead of looking at the positives. I am posting this as a reminder to myself. Three years ago I had no idea I would be sitting here writing a blog about melanoma, being cancer free for three years, the wonderful opportunities that I had been given because of melanoma, the sadness that I have felt from melanoma and cancer in general, and how happy I should be with my life. Recently I have been really struggling with being happy with my life now and I am not a hundred percent sure why. Maybe because lots of changes are coming in my future and I fear them. In nine short months I will have to completely grow up and enter the real world, ready to educate other people's children. This is once again a reminder to have faith in God's plan. He has put me on every path I have been meant to travel and will continue to do so.

Some Guys Like Pale Girls Too

She sings a song about guys liking pale girls too :)

Gorgeous Ladies of Pretty Little Liars

In spring I got hooked on the drama, suspense filled show Pretty Little Liars. Every time I watch the show I become more and more in love. One reason I love the show is because the ladies embrace their natural, beautiful skin tones and wear fashion forward clothes :)

Beautiful Pale Ladies

As I was reading my latest Cosmo magazine last night I paid special attention to the ads. I was pleasantly suprised many of the ads had models proudly wearing their natural skin tones. This is an awesome change from other magazines I have read in the past, especially ones who print articles about sun safety but across from the article is a sun kissed model. Here are a few pictures of the ads I came across:

Here are two that I wasn't so pleased to see:

Overall I think there were more ads embracing natural skin tones than tan ones :) Thanks Cosmo!